Just saw a good video on Vulnerability.  In it, Brené Brown talks eloquently about how “Vulnerability is absolutely at the core of fear, and anxiety and shame and very difficult emotions that we all experience.  But vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, of love, of belonging, of creativity, of faith.”  Now I do not know the audience to whom she was speaking, but what she did not mention was erotic joy, the sexual dance of Dominance and submission and the creative manipulation of a loved one’s emotions.  (Perhaps it was a Church group.)

But do not think that the submissive partner, whoever that might be, is the only vulnerable one.  It is supremely difficult to admit to what you want in a sexual relationship.  “You want to do what to me?”  “You want me to do what?”  In this descussion, on this blog, we will be talking about rather extreme forms of sexual expression.  We will be talking about how healthy people can be fulfilled and their relationship can be sustained by humiliation, or being bound helpless, or being given extreme forms of sensation that others might find frightening.  Asking for it, and doing it requires equally extreme forms of vulnerability.  These activities will always and forever be closely connected to being vulnerable to your partner.  If that vulnerability or admitting to it is an issue to you, or to your partner, then you have some examining to do.  Because everything I want to talk about here will involve, as part of the process, self examination, self acceptance, transparent communication to your partner, and an acceptance of your own vulnerability.

The Eroticist