Any form of alternate lifestyle can be a difficult one to manage, Gay, Transgender, BDSM, or Poly (and others I have not mentioned).  We are attempting to structure our day to day lives under new and different rules, rules of our own creation.  But the relationship skills necessary are directly translatable to any other form of partnership.

Transparency, being honest to yourself, being open and honest about yourself to your partner, and being honest and accepting of your partner.

Communication, remembering the three aspects, Talking, Listening, and Checking, making sure that what they heard is what you said.

Respect for the emotional state of yourself and your partner, even if that means saying, “I know this is important, I love you, I will be back, but right now, I can not talk to you.”

Acceptance of yourself and your partner and the knowledge that you probably have some baggage for which they are not responsible.  That does not mean it isn’t there, that it is not active in your life, but it might be nice for you to tell them, and for you to work on it.

The glory of alternate lifestyles can be truly wondrous, but that does not mean that life does not continue, that we do not have bad days, upheavals, times when we do NOT WANT TO FUCKING HEAR ABOUT IT.   But by taking some time, and using empathetic skills, that wondrous glory can return and truly sustain us.  So, goo, goo, g’joob.

The Eroticist

My thanks to Shelly-Sin, Dr. Peter and The Beatles