What if I told my loved one that watching other women excited me?  What if I told her that watching another man excited me?  If I said I wanted to be powerless could she hear me?  If I wanted her to be powerless, could she join with me in my excitement?  How do you tell someone you love that for now, this moment, you do not want to care what is going on with them, you want them to care about what is going on in You?

What do we do at times like these?  Do we hear our loved ones?  Or do mountains of familial and societal legacy rocket down the slope between us?  “Can’t you be excited by ME.”  “What do you mean you like…?”  “Aren’t we supposed to love each other.”  “Don’t I excite you?”  “Don’t you love me anymore?”  Is hearing of the things that excite our loved ones a joyous sharing exposure of what is vulnerable about them, or does that sharing bring a distancing and destructive competition?

If I tell you as my lover what excites me, I am telling you, sharing with you, exposing myself to you.  Can you hear me?  Can you?

The Eroticist