Beyond the glories of GreySkull it is good to talk about Power and the proverbial exchange.  A good friend often talks about the man standing in front of his kneeling submissive, receiving fellatio.  She describes his engorged member moving between two opposing sets of strong teeth while his testicles are nestled in a hand armed with five well manicured nails, all controlled by someone other than him.  Then she asks, who has the power?

While “power exchange” is a ubiquitous phrase within the BDSM lifestyle, I do not feel it is an appropriate one.  What Power do I have?  What Power does a submissive have?  If that Power exists, how can it be exchanged?

Some definitions of power are, “The ability or capacity to perform or act effectively.”  Difficult to see how that can be exchanged.  

“The sixth of the nine orders of angels in medieval angelology.”  Ahhhhh, yea.  

“The ability or official capacity to exercise control; authority.”  Here I think we are getting closer.

Authority, “the power to determine, adjudicate, or otherwise settle issues or disputes; jurisdiction; the right to control, command or determine.”  So what we do is give authority over us to a trusted other, authority to determine actions fulfilling to us and our relationships, knowing that in the best of cases, the result will be the advancement of our physical and emotional health and spiritual growth.

The Eroticist