I heard a woman say, “If you want me to submit, you have to prove yourself.”  Whew, prove myself.  Don’t know really where that takes me.

I find myself taking things very slowly right now.  When I have the opportunity, those elements of my Dominance that come across easily just do so.  But there will be times, moments when things do not work out smoothly.   Then I take a step back, look, try to understand why there is hesitation on her part or conflict between us, and what her reaction brings up in me.  Pause, wait, look.  Hopefully, I will see a path where I can look and listen to her concerns, and show her a way to approach the issue that resolves it, yet confirms the relationship that we both want.

Is that possible?  Definitely not always.  Relationships do not always work out.  But if she and I see possibilities and are willing to look at other paths, then absolutely, we will work and move forward.  Respect for the other, respect for yourself.  Both are necessary.

LOL, yea, a sub is there to make her Dominant’s life easier.  A-huh.  But any kind of interpersonal relationship involves struggles and conflicting approaches in areas really beyond just reasoning dialog.   A Dominant may have to say, “I know you have an issue here, and this is the way to approach it” several times before he says, “If you can not listen and use the tools I am giving you, this is not going to work out.”

Both partners must constantly consider, moment to moment, “Is this right for me?  Is it worth the work?”  Cause it IS work, for each of us, for each of you.   No doubt about that, in ANY relationship but most specially in a D/s or M/s relationship.  We are asking for something special here.  If we are in this because we think it is an easy way to get a partner who just wants to please us, what we are asking for is a long series of superficial and rather unrewarding relationships.

The Eroticist