There us a mantra I tend to use. “Listen to your body.” It will tell you much. As you look at others play, see how it affects you. Even if it is technically brilliant, if it does not affect you, then look elsewhere. Differing forms of play affect us in differing ways. There are some people who adore a bare hand spanking, but flogging the same area does nothing. Listen to your body.

Perhaps more importantly, if you meet someone, possibly a prospective play partner, or an educator, or someone who seems to be an authority, what they say may seem logical and correct, but your body does not connect, or they seem charming and logical but you just don’t feel they are “right”. Believe your body. It usually knows.

The Eroticist