I know most of you are aware of my penchant for Dominant and submissive lovingly violent sex and within that context a day in bed would sound delightful, if possible in these days of financial uncertainty.  But it is not really where I am going today.  Having spent half a day in recovery yesterday, my mind wandered to ways to show care for a partner unwell, before broadening on.

For those who read and explore in areas of Dominance and submission, it is often pictured that the submissive one works diligently at pleasing and making life comfortable for their Dominant partner.  Between caring people whose relationship has been so negotiated, that is as it should be.  But in those hopefully rare occasions when it is the submissive who is incapacitated, it is the Dominant’s obligation to show the care and consideration to his chosen partner(s) that he would wish for himself.

Because it is good to be an example.  Because it is good to learn what it requires of one to serve.  Because it is a differing creativity and broadens your experience.  Because it teaches you about your partner.  Because it teaches your partner(s) about you.  Because it teaches you about yourself.  Because they deserve it.

Because of these and many more reasons, I think the Dominant partner should find a time when they can serve their submissive even if they are completely healthy.  I do not mean becoming a “Switch”, for that has connotations involving sexual and SM play that would require a completely different blog.  I mean finding time when, for no other reason but to do it, give your submissive breakfast in bed, complete with flower and reading mater, if enjoyed.  Perhaps, simply spend an evening reading to them.

If you want a particularly lovely experience, save an evening when you can bathe them, wash their hair, and shave them, if necessary.  Now that is a very sensuous, erotic experience.  (For education on shaving someone other than yourself, look to Dr. Rubel’s book, it has a lovely section on shaving a woman with hints that are just as informative to shaving a man.)

Remember, serving someone else, while it can be, and often is a form of submission, it can also be a service to yourself and that broader whole that serves us all.

The Eroticist