I have often mention Reid Mihalko‘s Safe Sex Elevator Speech.  This video out now explains it rather well, being done by Reid himself.

It was a difficult step to get to for me.  What he suggests is that you should, when you find someone that attracts you, go right up to them and say, “Hi, my name is [your name here], would you like to hear my safer sex elevator speech?  Now for a guy brought up in the 50s, that is a concept that stretches my list of acceptable social behaviors a bit.

But besides prompting you to be aware of and practice communicating all the things that really are quite necessary to communicate these days, the greatest advantage, as Reid says, is when you finish and say, “How about you?”   You now have a phenominal opportunity to quickly assess if this person to whom you are attracted, is actually in a place in their lives where they might be a good sexual partner for you.  Now that is a valuable tool.  Because it is far easier on you and any prospective partner to find that out quickly and be able to say, “OK, then.  Thank you for listening and I hope you continue to take care of yourself.” and walk away, then start a romantic encounter and find out later this ain’t gonna work.  Messy, that.

Yea, you are probably gonna find yourself rather twisting the minds of some people who are not yet ready to talk openly and honestly about their sexual interests and desires at a first meeting.  But, I would hope, what you might do is get them to think that’s not such a bad idea after all.

The Eroticist