“What I think is mental domination..hmm..I think it’s something like the Jedi power. It’s getting to know someone so I know what makes them tick, and can use that to control them, give them orders, and all the rest. I like having people around me cater to my every whim just because I know the exact things to make them do it. By the way you put it, mental domination sounds really hot indeed! I’m very interested. Just the thoughts of having that kind of effect on people make me very excited.”

These were the words of a young person who seriously enjoyed the thought of Mentally Dominating some future partner.  I understood their feelings very well. We Dominants are manipulators after all.  We take the authority given to us by willing partners and manipulate it to our mutual benefit.  Yea, that’s what we do, right?  We would never think to take that authority and suggest that a willing person do something detrimental to their well being just to get us off, right?  I mean certainly not without informing them and getting their active informed consent, Right?

Right.  That is exactly what we have to do.

Because what we have to understand and accept completely is;  1) that this being who we are manipulating, directing, ordering, in order to have them cater to our every whim, is a Human, equal in value in every way to us. They have their wants and desires, needs, all of which must be understood by us not only to manipulate them, train them to please us, but to truly understand what they need as valued human beings, in order to mature, grow, become better, more realized human beings.  And 2) that by doing anything less than that is directly detrimental to ourselves, our own ability to become more fully realized human beings.

Be aware, it is far too easy to find those buttons, manipulate and use vulnerable people to get what you want, and as the relationship deteriorates (as it surely will if all you are doing is feeding your own pleasures) then throw them away, you will slowly cease being a Dominant and become an abuser.

I have seen it.

The Eroticist