I have started this blog many times and am still not sure how to go about it.  I want to talk about that magical moment when a woman comes for you.  Yes, women can obviously cum for themselves, and many do.  Some cum for themselves even when they are with their partners and if that is the case for you, I would strongly advise you to think about what has brought you to that point.

I can only talk about my own experience and that is unique.  I fear that many will view this as a come on (sorry for the pun) or some sort of self aggrandizement, but it is incredibly important to me to have my partner cum often and intensely.

Because of this, I suppose, I have selected partners who can cum easily, rapidly, and repeatedly.  I suppose as well that this skews my view, but I do not think much.  So here is my belief and it is radical.  I believe that any woman can cum at a word, if she allows someone the authority to demand it.  I have had 8 different partners, most in my later years, who have given me that authority and it is an overwhelming honor to me.  But I sincerely do not believe that it is any unusual quality about me other than the knowledge that it is possible and the authority to demand it.  It is her ability and her gift to me.  It is my responsibility to treat it with respect and be worthy of it.

I believe that the path to a woman’s climax is not through the usually thought of erogenous zones, but through her mind and then through her body.  Not through those usual points of pleasure most men know, but through her entire body.  If you have her mind, caressing her finger can make her cum.  What I do NOT understand is why most men do not see this.  I suspect that it has to do with a man’s inability to to say, “It is your choice, you can give this to me or you can not.  But if you are to be with me, I will have it.” and then his willingness to leave.

It is a powerful gift.  It is worthy of respect.  To be able to look at your woman, hold her eye and without a touch, tell her, “Cum, Now” then watch and feel that cascade of sensation as she falls into your arms is an absolute affirmation of who you are as a man and a lover.  Let her know it.  Feed her as she has fed you.  She deserves it.  If your woman does not believe she has this ability, then teach her, and teach her with confidence.  She will thank you for it.

It begins with a pause.  That is the most important aspect.  What you are asking her to do is take conscious control of her climax.  She needs to learn how to wait.  Do not ask her to wait long, for some will quickly fall off their state of passion.  Be delicate, and reward her often.

Sit beside her, use fingers and toys to stimulate her, and ask her to wait before she cums, to wait until you say it is OK.  Find a meaningful word to use and allow it quickly.  Listen to her.  Watch her.  Some women can fall off their passion quickly and you should not allow that to happen.  Reward her often.  This should be fun after all.  Ask her to tell you when she wants it, and ask her to wait.  Then reward her.  Later, ask her to tell her when she needs it, then ask her to wait.  Then allow it.  All this time you are teaching her to pay attention to you, to listen to you, meanwhile teaching yourself to watch and listen to her.  I can not tell you what a benefit this is to your relationship as a whole.  The advantages of this kind of connection between you can not be overstated.

Eventually you will begin to recognize the signs in each other.  She will see “that look” in you and begin to feel her response.  Encourage that.  Do not touch her, but hold her gaze.  This is a moment, no matter where you are, when it is just you and her.  Whisper to her, speak gentle words in her ear on how lovely it is to see and hear her passion.  Listen to her breathing.  In the beginning, do this when you are in bed and can stimulate her directly.  Notice her passion and when you feel it is there, say the words you have found.  Do this often, each time she cums, say your words.

Eventually, as she gains control of her passion and her body, as she feels her trust of you grow and her willingness to give you authority, you can touch her less and still watch the passion grow, until, truly, with a look, a pause, and a word, your woman will give you this ultimate gift.

I can not close without giving you this admonition.  Don’t forget about fucking her senseless.  Some very lucky women can do this with no training at all.  If you have found one, you are a very lucky man.  But if your partner needs the time and connection to make it possible, take the moments, but do not make that all the loving you do.  There is a lot more out there and believe me, it is all good.

For those who know, WOHIWYAtB

The Eroticist