I ask you your feelings about things because I want to know.  How do you feel about that?  Do you like this? Do you want to go?  Where’s your head?  Do you trust him?  Why are you saying yes?  Why no?  Why?

When I have the answers then I have an understanding of the elements I need to make my decision.  But, I will be making the decision.

That is why we choose this relationship.  I am in charge.  I have the responsibility to take us in the right direction.  I wish to make the right decision, an informed decision.  So I will ask for your thoughts, your feelings, your reactions, your desires.  But do not think that I am seeking to please you, to do as you wish.  Though your pleasure is important to me, it is not my goal.

I will look at your answers.  I will weigh them.  I will balance them with what I know about you.  I will consider if they come from a clear space or one clouded by insecurities and tapes of the past.  I will judge if they come from your needs or your desires.  I will decide if they are for our benefit.

For I want where we go to be a place of balance, of growth, of safety, joy, knowledge, and yes, pleasure.  I will ask, seeking to know anything that you may know that I do not.  Then I will spend a long time asking WHY.  WHY do you feel that way?  WHY do you answer in that way?  What is it that I hear that are not in your words?  Because I need to know.

I need to know so I will make the right decision.  My decision.  My responsibility.  Mine.

So tell me.