First I want to apologize for the extended silence.  While I will spare you the rather lurid details, shortly before my trip to Chicago I caught a bug which has seemed to be intractable.  So far, no diagnosis and to one level or another, it has stayed with me.  While in Chicago, several additional physical issues came forth but I was unable to find therapy until returning to Texas.  As a result, my energy has been incredibly low and little is being done other than maintenance. However, now I am home and I feel a great need to share some experiences I had while in Chicago.  As I mention many people, I also had to wait to mention them until I got permission, a time consuming process.

Friday at Mistress C‘s dungeon was a full and exciting day.  Women were free to enter, and so the hall gets packed.  It was particularly nice to see old friends from the past years at Exxxotica.  Shortly after it started, I heard a scream and saw my good friend Lilly Rose come bounding over to introduce me to her Daddy.  He was unable to attend last year.  It was a Very enjoyable hug.

I want to mention some other people who I was glad to see.  My friend Nina Hartley, a highly intelligent and erudite educator and fine piece of woman flesh, Mistress Candy with her two sissy pets, a delightful Dominant woman who can be polite and playful with a fellow male Dominant and not feel in any way threatened, and the wonderfully diminutive Lady Cupcake, a woman who, if she chooses, can have a unique career in her chosen field.  I would also like to thank Lucky Bastid, and Boston Brian, for their extensive service through the weekend.  Good people all.

There is another friend, or at least acquaintance I had a lovely opportunity to see again.  We had met at last years Exxxotica when she came with a girlfriend and expressed a desire to feel what it was like to have some sensation play.  First, I use the term sensation play to mean any form of play involving more extreme forms of sensation.  Often it is called pain play, but pain is highly subjective and any particular form of activity can create a wide range of reactions and subjective interpretations of what it is that is felt. This beautiful young lady’s reaction was one I talk about often.  She stood before a cross and volunteered to be flogged.  We talked for a while and as she was new, certainly to me and to a great extent to sensation play, I began quite lightly and checked in with her repeatedly.  For most of our time together, she replied positively in a clear and rational manor.  But then, within a space of thirty seconds, she became very quiet.  Sensitive to these kinds of changes I tapered down to a somewhat rapid halt, and asked if she wanted to sit.  Silently she nodded but needed a fair bit of assistance to move off of the cross and sit with her friend.  We talked about her need for liquids, possibly some light food, and that this feeling may possibly continue for as long as a day or two, but that it was to be expected, and not in any way something about which to be concerned.

What is worth remembering is that this was a dramatic change, and occurred over a very short time.  If I knew her better, had more experience with her, I could have extended that float and made it more pleasant for her, but Exxxotica is not really the environment for it.

When she came this year, she look for me, and reminded me of who she was and our experience together.  Aware, I asked her friend to watch her carefully and constantly report to me on her state.  We were able to have a short scene, but at no time was she able to get into that delightful subspace of endorphin induced float.  At this time, I worry that this was a disappointment for her.  I feel I should have spent less time preparing for what might happen from our previous experience and  should have taken the time to talk with her about what level of experience she had gained over the year, and most importantly, find out what it is she wanted from the scene.  I truly do hope it was enjoyable for her.

At another moment I had a conversation with a lovely young lady named Summer.  It began by her asking if she could get into the cage by which I was standing.  Well, I mean who am I to refuse?  If a beautiful young lady ask me to put her in a cage, I am glad to assist.  I sat next to her for a while and had a lovely conversation about scene life, our individual histories and interests, and relationships in general…through the bars.  An enjoyable moment.

One final important interchange. at least important to me. occurred during a paddling scene observed by a handsome young black man.  As we were watching he turned to me and expressed with great concern, “You know, I like that, but I don’t want to be anyone’s Bitch.”  This brought to the fore the vast number of misconceptions that people, particularly people new to the scene who have most of their information from media and internet porn.

The first thing I told him was that there are no package deals!   Just because you enjoy any particular kind of sensation play does not automatically imply that you choose to be submissive to the person applying it.  In fact, I know of several, quite Dominant people, who are quite masochistic and directly inform those submissive to them exactly how to apply sensation and when to do it.

I can not emphasize enough that the incredible joys that can come from this kind of relationship come precisely because we choose to define the dynamics we desire and we look carefully at assumptions, both society’s and our own, in order to choose the relationship that gives us the joy we desire.  Just because we individually choose the dynamics we wish to include in our relationships does not mean we force those choices on others.  The best relationships come when we find a partner who willingly chooses the joyous counterpart to the dynamics we have chosen for ourselves.

I am looking forward to “The Sixties” this week when it looks at the woman’s revolution.  For I believe that if it is your choice, whether it to be a leather clad sadistic mistress trailing her sissy boys behind, or a June Cleaver in pearls waiting to serve her husband in whatever desires he may have, I applaud you.  Let it be your choice, and not just something you are taught to accept.

I wanted to get this published.  There are busy weeks coming for me, but I promise to talk far more about my days at Exxxotica as soon as possible, with pictures.

The Eroticist