Posts tagged ‘Daddy/lg’

Exxxotica 2015 Part Trois, Lilly

In my first post on Exxxotica 2015 I mentioned the lovely Lilly, a beautiful young masochistic rigger, a possessor of the most astounding breasts and caring heart, who had just lost her Daddy.  First I should say that she has found him again for which I am very glad.  For a strong “little” it is terribly difficult to be without her “Daddy” and I am pleased she is home and happy again.

Lilly, Tied

Lilly, Tied

I first met Lilly back in 2012, I think.  She was running a booth alone and in my wanderings away from the Dungeon I stopped to talk.

Trade fairs are created for businesses and companies to promote and sell their product.  Customers go to these fairs to see what new products are available, to examine them, sometimes handle them, and see if they are attractive.   But in Exxxotica and other fairs like them, much of the “products” are people.  This can create a very different dynamic.

If you are lucky, when a movie is promoted, you have an opportunity to come up to some famous movie star, talk to them, and  come away with a feeling that you have had some small opportunity to actually get to know someone you have seen on the screen.

But the movies and photos here are specifically intended to attract your sexual interest.  And here the human brain can (sometimes?) get confused.  After all, these people are selling themselves as sexual objects.  That is their business. Unfortunately, the buying public can, at times, mistakenly believe that they have some right to, shall we say, pick the product up of the shelf, see how it feels in their hand, take the product out for a test drive.  The professionals, in turn, have to walk that delicate balance between allowing the customer an opportunity to feel that desire they want, but not allowing the customer to take unwanted liberties, a balance of charm and distance.  This is very difficult when you want to convey availability, have a body you want to advertise, wear very sexy clothing, and have hundreds of people through a three day weekend who want your time, your attention, your sexuality, your body, and want it all with absolutely no investment of care or responsibility except for a little cash on hand.

I can tell you, I do not believe that I could accomplish that as a career.  So, I  try very hard to be charming, polite, complementary, and respectful to the vendors at the events.  It is important to me, in order to be the man I wish to be, to treat these people as people.  You will be surprised what can happen.

So, I talked with Lilly about what brought her there, what kind of things she liked, mentioned the dungeon and what we do there, found out she was a little, and an appreciable masochist.  (For those who do not know, in my experience, a masochist is someone who derives benefit from extreme sensation.  It may turn them on sexually, it may quiet their over active brains, or it may just show what they are willing to endure for their loved one.)  Anyway, each time I wandered the floor, I would stop, see how she was doing as far as sales, admire her truly phenomenal breasts, and ask how her feet were holding up.

I saw her again in 2013 as she had a booth that year as well and over the years, we chatted many times on FetLife.  I missed 2014 as I was in the middle of a move, but told her that I hoped to see her at the 2015 Exxxotica.  She said that was not to happen, that she was no longer with her Daddy, and could not afford to get a booth at the event.  Well, I did not think that appropriate, and so began a convoluted series of phone calls and negotiations with many people and organizations to see how it would be possible for her to attend, even if she could not have a booth of her own.  (Expensive things, that.)

I won’t go into the details of all the possibilities missed and hit upon, suffice it to say that she was able to attend the entire three days and work in the Dungeon as (I was surprised to find out) she was quite an accomplished rigger (one who works with rope).  But the greatest honor for me was that she asked if I could substitute as her Daddy for the weekend.

Hmmm, let me think.  What was I to do?  Take on the overwhelming responsibility of giving her hugs, kissing the top of her head, sitting with her when we had a break, encouraging her, watching out for her, being there if there was a problem that I could fix, paddling her ass, flogging her, occasionally squeezing her breasts, and having her give me loving smiles.  Hmmm, yea, I could do that.  Yes, there were some problems that needed fixing, but all in all she was a loving and lovely girl that I was glad to have around.

We did have a talk on the last day about how I had a committed partner at home, that we lived far from each other, and that I did not want to stand in the way of her finding a Daddy that was right and good for her, and thankfully, she understood, has found her Daddy, a relationship that, I hope, will be a long and mutually rewarding one.  She is a good woman, and deserves much.

The Eroticist

Lilly as her little girl

Lilly as her little girl

Going Home

It is that time of year again when Exxxotica goes to Chicago.  There be my old home town and I greatly enjoy the visit with old high school friends, relatives and significant others, OWS in particular.  I have been involved in the Exxxotica Dungeon for 3 maybe 4 years now and truly enjoy my time there.  Besides being able to wander around a huge convention full of porn actresses and kinky people pointedly cracking my whip, I greatly enjoy talking to the many people there who have interest in, but do not have much experience in or knowledge about the scene.

I am constantly surprised at the amount of preconceived misconception there is about the scene, how you should behave, or what the acceptable roles might be, and I greatly enjoy politely telling people, “ah, well, that is not really how it works.” or “You know, there is no rule book.” or informing them that there is nothing in the scene that says what they want to do is not acceptable.  The kink and BDSM lifestyle is about releasing you from the constraints that your environment and society put on you, not about forcing you into a new set.

I am proud to announce that I have also been asked to give some demos and/or lectures for Swingzotica, an event that is happening inside of Exxxotica for lifestyle members.  (jeesh, “Lectures” sounds awfully grown up.  I prefer to just dialog, you know, talk.)  But those will be happening after Exxxotica closes each day.  If this branch of the lifestyle is of interest to you, I encourage you to look into it.  I am told that they will have a specific area of the hotel all to themselves, but you should hurry, as at last communication, there had only 5 rooms left.

I will do my best to inform you all of the delightful events happening.  But that may not happen until I return home.  I will be lucky enough to have the assistance of BonB, an international actress and educator, who long time readers may remember from my blogs on Exxxotica 2013.  (If you want to know that story, you will have to ask.)  She will also be representing Kinky Kolledge.  She is an excellent communicator and will definitely be able to convey insights into the right side of the D/s, S/m slashes.

I look forward to seeing you all.  Please let me know if you are a reader.  I definitely want to meet you.

The Eroticist

Questions and Answers

I ask you your feelings about things because I want to know.  How do you feel about that?  Do you like this? Do you want to go?  Where’s your head?  Do you trust him?  Why are you saying yes?  Why no?  Why?

When I have the answers then I have an understanding of the elements I need to make my decision.  But, I will be making the decision.

That is why we choose this relationship.  I am in charge.  I have the responsibility to take us in the right direction.  I wish to make the right decision, an informed decision.  So I will ask for your thoughts, your feelings, your reactions, your desires.  But do not think that I am seeking to please you, to do as you wish.  Though your pleasure is important to me, it is not my goal.

I will look at your answers.  I will weigh them.  I will balance them with what I know about you.  I will consider if they come from a clear space or one clouded by insecurities and tapes of the past.  I will judge if they come from your needs or your desires.  I will decide if they are for our benefit.

For I want where we go to be a place of balance, of growth, of safety, joy, knowledge, and yes, pleasure.  I will ask, seeking to know anything that you may know that I do not.  Then I will spend a long time asking WHY.  WHY do you feel that way?  WHY do you answer in that way?  What is it that I hear that are not in your words?  Because I need to know.

I need to know so I will make the right decision.  My decision.  My responsibility.  Mine.

So tell me.